who do you need to be?


Last week I was working with a client and helping him prepare for a big presentation in his company. While he had done the work, had prepared his presentation and had gotten the feedback he  needed from his team, he was still feeling anxious about it and the anxiety was taking over his mastery, his knowledge and his skills.

During our conversation, we unveiled the reasons why he was feeling that way and recognized that much was in the line for him with this particular presentation. A job promotion, a possible new role in the company or the opposite, the possibility of loosing his footing in the company as it was in a critical stage of restructuring and transition.

During our conversation, we got clear on what he was expecting out of this meeting. Not just real outcomes and feedback from the attendees but how HE wanted to FEEL at the end of the meeting. Once we uncovered this, basically what was his immediate end game, we then went ahead and "reverse engineered" what needed to happen in order to achieve that result. 

So my next question was. Who do YOU need to be to achieve this result?

At first he was not sure how to answer my question but then he quickly recovered and understood what I meant. I wasn't asking to put on a costume or a mask or be someone he was not, I was simply asking, which parts of him needed to come out and play for the success of this task. And so we went on to listing who he needed to be:

  • Courageous
  • Strong
  • Empowered
  • Creative
  • Trusting
  • Fun
  • Playful
  • Teacher

These were all words that made sense to him and that anchored him in a way of being that would deliver the desired results. I then went on to ask him, what will anchor this being? What will remind him to be this person? This is typically called a structure, something physical that anchors us. His answer was, "I have a tie that when I wear it I feel that way." and he agreed to wear it that day.

Whenever we are expecting a result in an action we are taking, specially if it's something we've never done before or that challenges us, we need to ask ourselves who do we need to be to achieve the best result. Much  like you would wear a special outfit for your wedding or a big event, we need to design from the inside out, what parts of us we need for each situation.

When we are home with our children, we need to be our loving, playful, caring selves. When we are negotiating with a client, boss or vendor, we need to be creative, listeners, strong and confident. 

You see, most of us go from task to task in a whirlwind of activity, never really slowing down to make sure we are wearing the right "outfit" for the task, and then we are surprised when things are not happening the way we want them to. Preparing for action is much about external preparation, research, studying as it is as internally designing the side of you that needs to come out and play. Because we are ALL made of many different parts.

So here's something for you to work on. Think of something you have going on in the next week or so. Something that is big or challenging for you, write it down. Then use adjectives to describe who you need to be for that particular situation. See how it shows up for you and celebrate. You just created YOU, by design.

Let me know how you did with this exercise. Send me an email or leave a comment in social media. Want to have a private conversation about it? Schedule time to connect.

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Have a great rest of your week,

Dolores is a Life & Business Strategist. She works with high achievers and helps them define the strategies they need to succeed in life & business. What separates her services from other coaches is that she only works with entrepreneurs and professionals looking to double the size of their business or reach the next level in their career. Because of this, she is very focused on her services and leads her clients out of the fog and into the clarity where they co-create their unstoppable, clear strategy and lay the groundwork for their measurable success in 100 days. Her platform word is CLARITY from where she leads her clients into the crafting and implementation of their winning strategy.



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